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17-Aug-2017 13:49

Now don’t get me wrong, sex can be wonderful at any age, but there’s something that is more important than sex, but it’s something that men have difficulty admitting and women have difficulty giving.

This understanding has dawned on me slowly and became most evident to me in my men’s group.

For a woman, she must also go beyond her own conditioning and be open to a man who is making himself vulnerable in new ways.

She must have a great deal of self-love and self-confidence to accept being a safe harbor.

Better to be manly with our sexual desire and then once we’re inside her body, we can relax, be ourselves, and be infused with love. One of the things I love getting from my wife, Carlin, is to lay in her lap and have my scalp rubbed. I don’t need to have sex in order to have this need satisfied. Here, I’m being touched deeply, accepted completely. I just must be willing to be deeply vulnerable.◊♦◊Just as it’s difficult for men to ask to be held, nurtured, and touched; it’s often difficult for women to give that kind of intimacy.

There are three main reasons, which are often subconscious: It takes a lot of time and maturity for men to admit to themselves that they need a safe harbor where they can be nurtured and embraced by a woman.

We’ve all heard that women need to feel loved to have sex, but men need to have sex to feel loved.

Girls wanting sex free iphone-39

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What we really want is a safe harbor where we can take refuge, relax, and be cared for.

In high school I remember overhearing a girl I liked talking about a guy we both knew.

She wasn’t complaining that he was preoccupied with sex, but that he “didn’t come on to me like other guys do.” She went on to tell her girlfriend, “He’s not being very manly.” The message was clear, “real men” want sex and if you don’t “come on” to a girl, you’re not a real man.

If you wanted to hold a girl in your arms, you had to make the long walk across the room with everyone watching and ask the girl to dance. By the time we become adults, we’ve already been battered and bruised by the world of competition and rejection.

We long for that safe harbor where we don’t have to pretend to be something we’re not in order to be chosen.

This early lesson was validated through the years: Always wanting sex is the mark of manliness for many.



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