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19-Nov-2017 07:08

Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. “Ew, this guy has Dad bod,” a young woman says of a potential match, swiping left.

Her friends smirk, not looking up.“Tinder sucks,” they say. At a booth in the back, three handsome twentysomething guys in button-downs are having beers.

I know this guy that actually married a girl with the herps.

He didn't have it himself at the time, but he didn't care and accepted her with open arms. He's a better man than me that's for sure, because I don't think I can date someone with the herps, even if I was the meat between a Mila and Natalie lesbian sandwich.

They are Dan, Alex, and Marty, budding investment bankers at the same financial firm, which recruited Alex and Marty straight from an Ivy League campus.

When asked if they’ve been arranging dates on the apps they’ve been swiping at, all say not one date, but two or three: “You can’t be stuck in one lane …

I’ll pause to acknowledge a trend you may have noticed in the quotes so far.

21 at least giggled (haha), five chuckled (hahah), three belly laughed (hahaha), and two were actively trying to hurt my feelings (hahahaha).

Dan and Marty, also Alex’s roommates in a shiny high-rise apartment building near Wall Street, can vouch for that. “She works at—” He says the name of a high-end art auction house. And yet a lack of an intimate knowledge of his potential sex partners never presents him with an obstacle to physical intimacy, Alex says.

If I were like, Hey, I just wanna bone, very few people would want to meet up with you …“Do you think this culture is misogynistic?

” he asks lightly.‘I call it the Dating Apocalypse,” says a woman in New York, aged 29.

It’s a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering.

The tables are filled with young women and men who’ve been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups.Elevations rise from 25 feet to more than l00 feet above sea level.



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